Good Morning Sweets!
I am so happy to have amazing friends, you guys really are the best!
Packing up this weekend is our goal, and wine will be flowing and 80′s music will be playing!
Come join if you want, haha
This morning I made another Oatmeal Pancake
Oatmeal Apple Pancake
- 1/2 cup oats
- 1/2 cup egg whites
- 2 packets stevia
- bag of dried cinnamon apple crisps
- 1tsp cinnamon
- 1tsp baking powder
- 1 tbsp flax seeds
Topped with Sunwarrior Protein Frosting and Lovegrown Apple Pecan Granola
Im loving the Oatmeal Pancakes for breakfast 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lets talk numbers
When I was at the Healthy Living Summit, I really enjoyed the presentations there
One presentation I really felt hit home with me was ” The Numbers Game ” presentation by Tina, Lisa, Beth, and Janetha!
They talked about how numbers can have a positive and negative effect when it comes to healthy living
For a more full detailed post on the presentation , click here for Tina’s Post on it! She did a great recap of the presentation on that post, she is awesome 
I wanted to share my run in with { numbers } that I have had, and mine was in a negative way
I used to model, I don’t share that on the blog TOO much, when I first started blogging I did post a handful of times that I modeled , I was a swimwear, lingerie, promotional, and glamour model
I really know how judgmental people can be, so I didn’t want to open up too much, especially when I have photos of me in bikinis and lingerie, but you know what, I really don’t care now
People will find out what they want about you, one word ” google”
So I hope not to offend anyone with the modeling pics, its a part of my life and I did enjoy it so much, in certain ways
Numbers were my best friend when I was modeling
What I didn’t know, was that my supposed ‘ best friend’ was actually my worst enemy 
With modeling , I always wanted to be in the BEST shape and look ‘perfect’
I know there is no such thing as perfect, but my mind was so brainwashed in that industry, that I was trying to be what they call ‘ perfect’ it was a never winning challenge
I would count calories like it was my job
made sure to only eat when I was supposed to eat in my eyes
never treated myself when I had shoots coming up or promotional stuff
I would seriously miss out on going out with friends for a dinner or someones birthday , just because I knew I didn’t want to eat other than what I knew what I thought was best to eat
Meaning no sweets, alcohol, or anything I didn’t consider healthy
My daily eating ritual would be
Breakfast – Special K Bar, which was a snack bar, might of had a little bag of apple slices with it
Lunch – A protein bar, or a side salad from Wendys with a plain baked potato
Dinner- A bar sometimes, or just a salad with grilled chicken, and plain
This is just an example of how STRICT I was with my eating, I never wanted to take in too many calories or eat too much
I let numbers control me calorie wise
I never had a diagnosed eating disorder, and was never underweight, but I definitely had a problem, there are so many eating disorders out there , I am sure if I went to the doctor at this time I would have been diagnosed with one
not FUELING your body and not eating ENOUGH is a problem that can affect you internally and cause your body harm
I was not getting enough food, vitamins, and more
I just woke up one day and realized, ‘ what the hell am I doing this for ? ‘
I was missing out on life, not going out with friends because of my eating habits, always obsessing about the calories, and thinking I would gain weight if I did eat a piece of cake that one time
It drained me mentally and physically
I am SO happy that I am not in that place anymore, and am so glad that I ENJOY things now no matter what!
Of course I lead a very healthy lifestyle, but to me now, its all about balance
I eat what I want, fuel my body properly, and don’t care about numbers when it comes to eating anymore
Except when it comes to one scoop or two scoops of ice cream , TWO please 
Life is too short, too beautiful, and there is no need to not enjoy it!
I hope you enjoyed reading my ‘ numbers ‘ challenge I had, and I really enjoyed sharing it with all of you
Writing this just made me Extra happy, just to know how great it feels to not be controlled anymore and not have wasted any more time to miss out on ice cream, cakes, and more!
Have you ever had a positive or negative with numbers in your life?
Again, thanks for listening , and I hope not to get any rude comments with the modeling pics, I will never hide who I am, what I have done, or what I will do, I am open and like to be real and a genuine person
Thank you
Katie xoxo
{ 78 comments… read them below or add one }
You look gorgeous in those pics – nothing at all to be ashamed of. But you just GLOW so much more now because you are so much happier and it shows. It’s missing in those photos. And now you are gorgeous AND happy, a much better combo in my opinion, even if it takes two scoops every once in a while.
I used to battle with the scale often. If it went up a pound, I would curse at it and would feel badly the entire day. I now weigh myself once every two weeks, just to make sure I’m still on track. Otherwise, you drive yourself crazy.
You are so beautiful!! If anyone gives you a negative comment, they are just jealous! I used to be too concerned with what number was on the scale. I would only eat certain things, and one day I just realized this is SO STUPID! Why am I doing this? If the number on the scale fluctuates two pounds in either direction, no one is a) going to notice or b) going to care or c) love me any more or less. Great post! <3
Thanks girl! Yes, it was a hard struggle, I felt like I couldn’t ever enjoy things because of my eating habits then, the modeling world is scary, I ma glad I didn’t cross over to the bad parts of it, thank you so much! xoxo <3
Thanks for sharing, Katie! I think your modelling photos are beautiful….never be worried about posting them!
Your story is exactly like mine,,,except I was not a beautiful model like you~wink~ Yes my whole life I have been controlled by numbers.Afraid to gain an ounce.Until I started running and training.Running has set me free
No more numbers for this chicky.Only whole natural nutrition.I now fuel my body for my runs and activity.And it is ok to have what I want everyday in moderation.Balance is the key 
Great blog.I loved it!
thanks for sharing your story too, I am so glad you found your happiness and what makes your body happy! You are so sweet! Thank you!
I like what the first commenter said– about the beautiful pictures missing one important feature: happiness!
letting go is the scariest thing in the world. but it is the best thing in the world.
thanks girl! I am glad to have let go, and not have to worry about every thing that I eat and how many calories or if I can have it
xoxo
You should NOT be ashamed or embarrassed about your modelling!! You are GORGEOUS and I did guess you might have modelled at some point
I was the same too, counting calories and numbers on the scale every day! But I realised that there is SO much more to life than numbers!!
Thanks Emma! Yes, numbers can be a bad thing when it comes to calories, BUT not for all, it can also be a good thing, in my case, it was not
Love u!
Katie thanks for sharing your experience — and I’m so glad that you have a healthier approach to food now!
I think you look beautiful and I really hope people aren’t judgmental! I was never a calorie counter and my parents never had a scale in the house (I still don’t) and I think that was really helpful. I always ate healthy, but allowed myself to have treats in moderation. I guess not much has changed! I’m lucky to have been a consistent healthy eater.
The sad thing with eating disorders people do not understand, is you DO NOT need to be underweight to be diagnosed with one!!! A lot of people with them look ‘normal’ you can even be overweight if you have binge/purge type of bulimia! It definitely looks like that if you were to see a doctor back then you would have had one! But atleast you are happy and healthy now! Yes numbers suck so much!!! especially the scale, cheers to good health!! Modeling has such a dark world we barely ever see. You are so beautiful keep up with god health
Thanks Kelli, I totally agree with you, I am SURE if I did go to the doctor I would have been diagnosed with one, I just never did, and Im glad I didnt get too bad that it got to that point where I needed help , you are so right about the weight thing with eating disorders too, there are so many types of eating disorders too, like you said
Yes, modeling world is very scary, I really enjoyed modeling, but it was a little scary to be around girls sometimes that had real troubles and thought they were fat, or did crazy diets, I am just glad to be in a better place, it is SO important, especially to live a full and healthy life : ) thanks for your comment : )
You’re so great to share this experience! And if I had modeling pics like that, I’d be so proud!
I was majorly obsessed with numbers in college and definitely got to a scary skinny level. It feels so good to toss the numbers out the window and just live!
It does feel good! Thank you Erin! Glad you threw those numbers out the window too ; )
I have never counted calories. I was never good at math but I did become obsessed with the scale at one point in my life. So obsessed that I weighed myself at least 10 times a day. AT LEAST. I developed a very serious eating disorder and at my lowest weighted 103 at 5’4. I felt great but probably didn’t look as great as I thought I did. That went on for four years. Now… I don’t/won’t own a scale and just eat what makes me FEEL good inside. If that means I want a treat then gosh dangit I will have a treat.
I only weigh myself now when I HAVE to. Ha!
You are gorgeous inside and out. Its great that you were able to get past the number game. It isn’t a life worth living in my book!
Thank you girl
I am so happy you are in a better place, you are beautiful inside and out! Its not a good place to be when you are always controlling your life with how many calories you had and making sure to only eat what you think is the right amount to eat, its mentally horrible and physically too
xoxo
Damn girl!
you are gorgeous!..But you are even more gorgeous NOW since you have grown up and realized the best way to treat your body 
Great post! This will definitely touch somebody struggling with a similar issue!
Thank you Ari! I appreciate it!
I am glad to be in a beter place !
Hot little photos hon
I have had my own struggles with numbers, not just in my weight, calorie intake, but also with grades. I was obsessed with getting the highest score and the best GPA so much so that I’d miss out on fun opportunities just to ‘be the best’…sigh.
Thanks love ; )
Oh yes, trying to be the best, not always the greatest thing to want to be, when it affects you so bad mentally or physically xoxo
You would think that I would stay away from numbers, seeing as how I’m not big on math and all, but they controlled my life for YEARS. How much I weighed, how much I was eating, how long I exercised, how many calories I burned… ugh. Even thinking about it now makes me cringe. Thanks to my obsession with numbers, I ended up in the darkest place that I’ll probably ever see in my life; one that stole years of my life and almost killed me. It was the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do, but also one of the best – learning to give up numbers has completely changed my life. I haven’t weighed myself or counted calories in over a year, and I’ve never felt better
I’m so glad that you’ve experienced the same happiness, hun, because even though you were gorgeous back then, you’re so much more beautiful now that you have so much happiness and life radiating from your eyes 
xoxo
Amanda,
You are SUCH a beautiful girl inside and out, it makes me sad that you were once in such a dark place and that it was very bad that it was close to death. I can’t imagine how that terrible time must of been.
I am so glad that you came out of it, you are now strong, and I think sometimes things happen to us, makes us wake up and realize how precious life is and how beautiful it is, I love you girl! I am so glad you are in a better place and I know you will always be from now on! xoxo
GIRL, you tell that story!! AMEN!!! I love hearing about stuff like that. you are in such a better place now- its all a part of who you are today! you are sooooooo beautiful now and RADIATE in every way!
AMEN is right girl! Thank you! Love you!
Great story! You are a beautiful girl (inside and out!) and I’m glad that you did what was right for you.
I never counted calories, but in high school I thought I was fat because I have *ahem* a bootay. (I was a 4/6– silly me!) I stayed far away from sugar, candy chocolate and heavily relied on vegetables. Which was ok, I was never underweight, but like you, I definitely didn’t have a good mindset!
Girl I wish I had a booty ! ha!
I am glad YOU are in a better place and have a good mindset now too! Thank you for the SWEET words and for commenting on this!
THank you SO much for opening up about this Katie. Numbers can really diminish the meaning of life. I have dealt with the negativity of numbers many times – and in many ways. Be it the number of calories I am eating – the number on the scale.. even the number of hours I made myself wait in between eating. Constant thoughts of – how many minutes can I work out for – how many calories can I burn… at all piles into numbers.
Even non “health” related numbers – particularly with money -give me EXTREME anxiety. (aka I am probably going to have many anxiety attacks as we budget, plan, and pay for the wedding…)
Gorgeous pictures!!! I’ve always wanted to just do *one* photoshoot.. Since im 4’11″ I think it’s safe to say modeling isn’t in my future.
This was an amazing post and really hit home for me. When I was a soph in college I lost 30 pounds and everything in my life changed- how I ate dressed fitness boys friends – for the better! But with that came an intense fear of gaining the weight back and so the scale became an obsession. I would only be happy if the scale showed a lower number. Same story- I lost so much weight but was never officially underweight for my height (but I was pretty darn close). Now I look back and thank god Im past that terrible time in my life!
Cass,
thanks for the comment, and hey, do not let your height affect the dream of a photoshoot, you can do anything : )
Thanks for sharing girl, glad you are in a better place now!! xoxo
I love this post, Katie!! Thanks so much for sharing! I have been struggling with the numbers lately and am really working to let it go and just be healthy… this is great inspiration. XOXO!!
Thank you!
I am so glad it could benefit you with inspiration! Don’t let numbers mess with you ; ) XOXOXO
p.s. your breakfast pancakes look AMAZING!!
They are! You must make one for breakfast! I bet Brad would like one too!
Thanks for sharing your story! Much like you, I let calories control me for about 2 years of my life. I had a little notebook that I would track every single perfectly measured bite of food that I would stick in my mouth. I would also weigh myself every morning and let that number affect my entire day. I was never diagnosed with an eating disorder but I know if I would have gone to a doctor I would have been because it was insane. I have gained quite a bit of weight since I stopped counting calories and weighing myself daily but mentally I am so much happier. Sometimes you just have to compromise a little bit. I know that it wasn’t necessarily realistic for me to be the size that I was. I am working towards being more mindful every day!
” Happiness” is all that matters! No numbers should ever affect that!
I am so glad you are in a helathy and happy place with your life too Abby ; ) thanks for sharing your struggle that you had !
You look gorgeous in those photos! But I can’t imagine how you lived on so little food!!! It’s amazing how it seems that more research is showing we really need to take in more calories (the clean kind) along with weight training to add muscle to really get our metabolism revving to slim down. I know you rock it out in the weight room – you have some great pipes! I’m glad you have found a happy healthy place for yourself. And life without those 2 scoops of ice cream would be so sad.
It is a very happy diva world now with the ice cream ; )
Thanks Ellie! I am also glad as well : )
Hey girl!
I’m so glad that you posted this. Growing up in the professional dance world, I also faced a lot of pressure as well as a lot of critic for my body. My body type is short and athletic which, in some eyes, is not ideal for a dancer. I tried my best to make the best of it but also slipped into an obsession with numbers. I ate little, exercised to much, and damaged my happiness in the process. I’m so happy that you have found a new balance as I’m learning to do. You look fabulous and i’m so inspired by your blog:) thank you for all your hard work with your site! much love!
xoxo
Jessie Ann
Thanks Jesse!
Your story I am glad you shared a little too, happiness was gone for sure, I know how you feel
Thank you SO much for your kind words, I am so glad you did find my blog a while back : )
xoxo
You go girl! i cant tell you how much this post was an up lift. i was down on my self today and this was just what i needed!
I am so happy I could help your day be better ; ) thank you!
Gurl pwease! You are BEAUTIFUL in your model pictures and even more BEAUTIFUL now! I really like your pictures you take with your family. In them you glow and you can see how much love you have for them. If anyone finds this post offensive or has a negitive comment about it, then they need to grow up and move on. I love reading your post and really LOVE your pancake receipies!!!!!
Thanks Dyanna ; )
I just worry, but I have no reason to, its my blog and my life, therefore my choices ; )
Thank you so much for the sweet comment, and I hope you get some pancakes soon!!
You are gorgeous! Thank you for sharing this with us. Numbers can be tricky but it looks like you have figured out your happy…. whether it be two or even THREE scoops of ice cream
Thank you Jane ; ) I have and damn it felt good when I did, its amazing how much it can affect you mentally
xoxo
You really ate a little.
I had a stage in my life, when I really counted calories, except I was not too healthy. Like sometimes I had a 2 or 3 pieces of chocolate eat at lunchtime and it meant no lunch at all this day.
And i must say white shoes on your first photo are just simply gorgeous.
I know, I can’t believe how little I ate, there are times in our lives that are not so pretty, this was one of those times for me, thnak you for the comment love ; ) xoxo
this post is awesome. you are a great role model for ALL women. Love ya so much!!!
Thanks Kristi, I love ya girl!
What a beautiful post, Katie! Of course you look stunning in the pics, but are still one hot stunna now and that’s for sure
I’ve had anorexia in the past, so boy oh boy have I struggled with numbers: calories, steps walked, sodium milligrams, fat grams, meal times, time elapsed between meals, …everything you name it. I am in a far far far better place now but still prefer buying foods that don’t come with nutritional labels because it’s still easy for me to get distracted or influenced by them
How relieving is it to NOT count numbers? I swear when I weighed more I was obsessed with numbers, yet now that I weigh less, I could care less – funny how it all works out
.
I’m glad you now go for the second scoop of ice-cream if you want because you friggen look good!!! haha
PS – was in Target yesterday and totally thought of you – the things you can find in that store are AMAZING! XOXO
It is SO relieving for sure! Im glad you don’t let it affect you anymore!
Oh target, I bet you saw hello kitty and thought of me! : )
Thanks for posting this Katie, definitely what I needed to hear (and keep needing to hear). It’s amazing how smart our bodies are. I just came back from Hong Kong and was worried that I had gained a ton of weight and to my surprise I actually lost a few pounds. Oh the games our minds play! I was free of the numbers game til I came home from Hong Kong with a broken ankle. Now I have been tracking calories and I hate it. It really does screw you up mentally. You just gotta trust your gut sometimes.
P.S. Congrats on moving back to PA! I’m so happy to have a fab fashion/fitness/food blogger my neck of the woods! It makes its so much more relatable & fun.
Oh is the new Trader Joe’s by Ross Park by chance?
Thanks Beth! Im sorry to hear though that you are stressing out, just try not to , I know its easier said than done though, but I know you will break free from those damn numbers! ha!
Actually its the one in the South Hills Area! Its opening late this year or early 2012!! We need to hang out! What area do you live?
I live near the Pittsburgh Mills, but my fiance is close to South Hills. Definitely when you’re settled in, let me know
Awesome! Yes I will!
I have always had a problem with that! When I was in high school I would eat a cookie or two for lunch, and for dinner lettuce with lemon juice. Not to mention I was a figure skater AND played soccer. So I was definitely not giving my body what it needed. Even though I stopped eating that way it has always been a struggle, I still weigh myself morning and night, but try not to obsess over what I eat and just try to make healthy natural choices. That’s why I am so glad I have found such great blogs like yours! Helping discover new healthy but GOOD foods that I love! : )
Awwwww, well the numbers can be a good or negative thing, I know when people are trying to lose weight, its good to track the calories, so it works great for some things or people, but then can be bad! Im glad you are doing better living a healthy lifestyle! You are so sweet! xoxo <3
Katie, you are beautiful inside and out! You look great in both photos, but you look so strong and healthy now! I mean after all, you are the Healthy Diva!
I used to struggle with counting calories & such and its definitely no fun!
Love you, xoxo
Your modeling pics are awesome and you were a beautiful model.Yes I eat healthy too but if I want a treat or some cake I eat it too!! I really enjoyed reading this post….love it~~~
Thanks Carrie! Yes, never deprive yourself ever ; )
Love this post! hits home for us! as we dealt with the number game as a negative way a few years ago. luckily we are in a much better place mentally now that numbers do not phase us! it lead us into a deep eating disorder which we have discussed on our blog, it was a long journey of getting over using numbers to run our life, but one day we said enough – no more! now we eat foods and do not care about calories
feel much better now too!
and you are a beautiful person inside and out, and we love you no matter if you modeled or not! you are a great person!!! xoxo
Amazing post! You looked stunning in those modeling pictures and you look stunning in your present pictures. Beauty cannot be defined by numbers or the scale. As my friend told me when I was in the depths of not going out for the sake of eating something delicious or drinking alcoholic bevs in addition to a whole days food 2 years ago —-LIVE A LITTLE!
Thanks Molly! Exactly , LIVE LIFE! I am so glad that I do now, so many times I missed out in the past . Have a great day and thanks for your comment! xoxo
Katie, this is such a great post and thank you for opening up! I think it is so helpful to remember how far you’ve come and how happy you are because of it! Your modeling pics are beautiful, but they are just as beautiful as the sweaty-after-workout-with-no-makeup pictures you post!!! Love ya girl!
P.S. Congrats on your upcoming move!!!
Thanks Angela!
It is helpful to remember and look back on things in the past, and realize how these things have shaped me and made me the stronger girl I ma today!
Thank you, we are excited! Congrats to you on your first race!!!
I’m a relatively new reader of your blog, but I had guessed that you must have been a model at some time. You look so much happier now
I used to struggle with the numbers too, but it’s much more healthy to have a broader perspective on health. Congrats on your progress!
Thanks Tara, it is much more healthy and much happier I must say, when you don’t obsess over calories or food ; )
Seriously, I have like the SAME exact story! I was never diagnosed with anything, but I was constantly counting calories and eating very, very strictly. I have also done some modeling and actually tried out for America’s Next Top Model. So many girls were smaller than me and that industry really does have a negative impact sometimes! I am so glad you’ve found your happy place! Proud of you
I am so proud of YOU! I am glad you are in a better place now too! Thanks for the comment ; )
Glad I didn’t mark your posts as read! I can never do that with you because all your posts have something I learn, love or take away (or all three!) Thank you for sharing YOUR thoughts on numbers.
Thank you for being awesome and sharing your thoughts at the presentation! Love you!!
Love this post. I’ve just recently been diagnosed but I think everyone has a little eating disorder them it’s just how much you let it control you is where the problem really comes in, but I’m so glad you over came the negative relationship you had with numbers.
Calories afterall are man made. Made up by the food industry. Who is to say that one walnut has “x” amount of calories. No two walnuts are the same and your body doesn’t care anyways. It just wants the food and nutrition it needs to survive.
I was a crazy calorie counter as well and it’s so freeing to be able to just listen to my body. Eat when I’m hungry, stop when I’m full. Seems so simple doesn’t it?
Again great post and as everyone else said you are absolutely gorgeous my dear and never care what others will think.
Debbie,
Thanks for taking the time to read my story and thanks for sharing you problem you had as well, I am glad you are not a crazy calorie counter anymore ; )
Thank you so much! xoxo
I used to be obsessed with counting calories too. I wouldn’t be able to sleep well at night because I was CONSTANTLY worried about those stupid numbers! I went to a doctor and therapist and I’m much better than I used to be. I still have bad thoughts every now and then, but I just tune them out because I know that Satan is just trying to bring me down again.
Kelsey, I am glad you are not in that bad place anymore with numbers, not a way to live!
Happy you are better love ; )
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